Falling into the Rain
Working through
my newest novel project Outlaw, I’ve reached one of my favorite scenes which I
call “Falling into the Rain.” Below
you’ll see that I’ve posted it to share with you. To read more about the inspiration of the
scene, see my Heart-chords post titled Falling into the Rain (www.heartchords.blogspot.com).
To refresh your
memory, here’s the background of the scene.
There’s a man named Daren McDowell.
He has a terrible past- he’s an outlaw, in fact- and he’s now
guilt-stricken and desperate in hopelessness, heavy-hearted with shame, regret,
and failure. He has complete distrust of
everyone and everything in life; he feels nothing besides hatred, desperation,
and the emotions correlated with guilt and condemnation. But he has one primary avenue of hope to
which all other elements in the story direct him back to- his childhood
Bible. He doesn’t know why he even kept
it all those years on the road of running from pursuit, but he did.
The
underlying message of the story revolves around the theme of that man
struggling to raise crops on his acres of property and learning to find a new
beginning. His land is dry and parched,
and the soil is hardened and rocky so that virtually nothing can grow on it. It’s in a desert-like region of the American
West in the 1880s when sprinkler systems weren’t available, but never the less,
this man’s land desperately needs rain.
If his crops don’t grow to show that he’s improved and worked the land,
his property will be taken from him, and his attempt to build a home and live
an upright life will have failed.
Months
pass in the storyline, and the man begins to attend the town church, searching
for answers and for direction of how to escape the guilt he has been carrying
for years. He wants to believe and to
learn to trust and love again, but after the wrong decisions he made in the
past, he just can’t accept the truth that God’s grace is so powerful that He
would still love and accept him with all of his past mistakes and would still
have a plan for his life. His life is as
dry and barren as his land, and he’s desperate for a breakthrough.
After an
emotionally painful confrontation with one of his past gang members Skylar and
after learning the outcomes of the rest of the gang members’ lives, Daren had a
restless night and finally drifted into heavy slumber the next morning. We now find him just awakening from his deep
sleep.
Falling into the
Rain
He began to
contemplate again the lives of his former gang members: Trent, Cole, Clem, and
Skylar. They had all wandered through
life feeling hopeless… now one had even gone to his grave in that miserable
state. They had all given up on living a
fulfilling life. He reached up to run
his hands over his hair in dismay. “I
don’t wanna live the rest of my life like that.”
He thought of
the Bible with its worn cover lying in the bottom drawer of his
night-table. It held so many unwelcome
memories. Did he dare bring it out
again?
Sitting
up, he turned and dropped his feet to the floor, his boots sounding against the
wood-planks. Opening the bottom drawer
of the night-table, he reached in and reverently lifted the Book from its place
of rest. The leaves fell open to the
psalms of David, and he began to read aloud.
“One
thing God has spoken, two things have I heard: that you, O God, are strong, and
that you, O Lord, are loving. Surely you
will reward each person according to what he has done.” Regret again surged through Daren’s emotions
at the words. He sighed, shaking his
head in dread. He could only imagine
what kind of reward he would receive after all of the horrible things he had done. He began reviewing the events in his mind…
too many to list.
Shifting
his attention back to the Book lying open in his hands, he continued
reading. “O God, you are my God,
earnestly I seek you; my soul thirsts for you, my body longs for you, in a dry
and weary land where there is no water.”
The
swell of emotions began rising again, choking in his throat. He had been searching for answers for so long
in all the wrong places. Nothing he had
found would remove the pain of the guilt and shame, the regret that plagued his
thoughts daily. He needed divine help
from a Power greater than his own being, he realized. His hands began to tremble as he fought
against the tears again.
His
gaze fell upon another portion of the Book on the opposite page. “O you who hear prayer, to you all men
will come. When we were overwhelmed by
our sins, you forgave our transgressions,” he read silently. Prayer.
Did he dare approach the Lord again after everything he had done
though? But he had nowhere else to turn.
Laying
the Bible aside on the mattress, Daren rose to his feet and slowly knelt at the
side of the bed uncertainly. He sighed
heavily, struggling to steady his trembling emotions as he leaned over the
comforters of the mattress, resting his brow against his folded hands. “God, help me,” he whispered hoarsely. “I don’t deserve to have Ya listen to me- I
don’t blame Ya if Ya don’t- but I wanna believe. I wanna trust You again… I really do,” he
prayed. “Give me faith to believe
again,” he pleaded. “Forgive me… please
forgive me. I’ve been so wrong,” he
admitted, his voice wavering. “I wanna
be a good man.” His words trailed off as
the tears broke loose, coming freely.
He stayed there
on his knees leaning over the bed for what seemed like hours, crying, praying,
being completely oblivious to time.
Meanwhile a gentle noise began to sound against the glass panes of his
window, softly at first so that it came almost imperceptibly and gradually grew
louder. Finally it caught Daren’s
attention, and raising his head from his bent position of remorse, he glanced
toward the window. The sound came louder
still, and rising to his feet with a slight groan for his knees had become
quite stiffened, he turned and made his way to the door. He swung the door open on its creaking hinges
and halted abruptly in the doorway.
A heavy sheet of
rain was falling. Steadily it came. He watched as it fell upon his barren acres,
toiled and seeded… waiting for rain. After
months of waiting. In a daze of
disbelief, he stepped outside, feeling the rain on his skin. It was as though the world came to a stop as
he stood there relishing in the rain shower.
It came drenching, soaking through his shirt and onto his back. He turned his face up to the clouded sky, and
the tears came again, falling with the raindrops that ran dripping down his
face. “God, You gave me rain,” he
acknowledged in a whisper.
He fell to his
knees in relief as the water came running over head, his face, his hair. And it came and came again, never
ceasing. He closed his eyes, keeping his
face turned up to the heavens.
Rain. It was really finally
raining. He smiled, his expression
spreading broader until it broke into a laugh of liberation and overjoy. He ran his hands over his dripping hair as he
laughed, attempting to grip the joyous reality.
“Rain.”
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